(set: $mental to 0) (set: $physical to 0) (set: $honor to 0) (set: $quest to 0)(set: $trust to 0)
   It isn’t every day you find yourself delving into a tavern, much less one as cramped as this, the only lightsource being a tiny candle in the corner and the light from the stars outside. The room smelled of alcohol and wood, and the sounds of conversations filled the room. And sitting there at the end was what you were looking for, a figure clad in robes, a lute in their hands, playing idly with the tuning of their instrument.
   You approach the table in the corner, sitting down and calling for a drink. The figure ignores you at first, but eventually glances over, placing their lute down at their side. “Can I help you?” They ask, a slight hint of melody to their voice, as though they’d performed those exact words a thousand times.
   You nod your head. “Assuming you are who I think you are, yes. You are a bard, aren’t you?”
   They look at their lute, and then back to me, raising an eyebrow. “You tell me.” They chuckle to themself for a moment. “If you’re here to make a request, I’m not taking any tonight.”
   You ponder to yourself for a moment, before responding. “Well, I suppose this is a bit of a request. Just not the kind you’re thinking of.” They stare at you blankly, so you continue. “You see, I’m what most people would think of as a Hero, and a pretty big one at that. I’ve got quite a few stories under my belt, and I’ve been looking for someone to write them down for me.”
   “A hero, huh?” They look me up and down, sizing me up. “Alright, ‘Hero,’ let me ask you a question.”
   “What is it?”
   “What was your goal? What made you set out and be a hero? Answer that, and maybe I’ll write down your story.”
[[I sealed away the Sky God Theus in a pot!]]
[[I rescued my brother from the Underworld!]](set: $physical to $physical+1)(set: $quest to 1)
   The bard arches a brow as their eyes slowly look you up and down. Maintaining your confidence, you kept a brave, boastful grin plastered across your face for the silence that followed.
   "You've supposedly trapped Theus... in a pot...?" The bard asked with a heavy sigh.
   "I have, and allow me to tell you the story of how!" You boasted.
   "I don't think that'll be nec-"
   "The first challenge I found myself coming across was the dreadful Troll Bridge!"
[[Troll Bridge]](set: $mental to $mental+1)(set: $quest to 2)
   The bard's brow furrows as they pause for a moment to collect their thoughts. Your somber expression remained before the bard finally spoke.
   "Your brother, trapped in the Underworld? How rather dreadful, truly, but I'm not sure I believe one of flesh and blood before me has journeyed there."
   "Ah, well then allow me to tell you the tale of me, my story of how I accomplished it! It all began with my first test, the Troll Bridge..."
[[Troll Bridge]]   Taking in a deep breath, you begin your tale. “I journeyed for twenty days and twenty nights through the great oaken forest to the north, weaving my way through boulders and trees at day, while battling off wolves each night-”
   “And I’m quite sure each and every one of the beasts bore the blood of Fenrir itself, and bellowed flames from their nostrils and miasma from their maws?” The bard adds with a sarcastic sneer, although you continue on without malice.
   “Not at all, but the wolves are just a footnote of my heroics.”
   “Which seems rather comprised of footnotes so far-”
   “The true test,” you spoke loudly to cut off the bard, “was the Troll of the Bridge! A mighty creature, standing two men in height, and three in width! As I approached the bridge, the emerald creature rose to face me and demanded I pay my weight in gold for the privilege of crossing the river. Knowing I hadn’t been simply carrying that amount of wealth on my person, I decided I must find a manner of crossing less damaging to my coin purse.”
   “Ah, the purest of motivations, truly heroic. And tell me, how did you manage to cross the bridge with your funds intact?” The bard asks before taking a deep sip of their drink.
[["I challenged it to a wager of might!"]]
[["I persauded it to solve my riddle!"]](set: $physical to $physical+2)(set: $honor to $honor+1)(if: $physical is >= 3) [(set: $trust to $trust+2)](if: $physical is >=1 and $physical is < 3)[(set: $trust to $trust+1)]
   “A test of might?” The bard inquires with a glimmer of curiosity. “Against the troll?”
   “Indeed! I told the troll that in the human realms, we often compete for vast amounts of gold. I claimed that I could best him in a test of might, and if I failed I would simply pay twice my weight in gold! The beast agreed, believing it impossible that a human such as I could best it! So I issued my challenge, I wagered that I could push the troll across the bridge.”
   “Fantastic, a pushing contest. How grandiose, daring, and deadly,” the bard claimed with a flick of their fingers.
   “Quiet. I knew that in sheer strength, the troll was a formidable foe, so I used the tricks I learned in the very tests of might I spoke of before! Ducking low, I grabbed the creature’s waist and hoisted it high above, taking step after step until I dropped the creature’s green backside into the dirt!”
   “Ah, so you’ve wrestled before. Still, I suppose that means you’re rather strong, aren’t you?”
   “Indeed! Now, would you be interested in hearing about how I managed to pass across the most dangerous mountains in the world?”
[[Medusa]](set: $mental to $mental+2)(if: $mental is >= 2)[(set: $trust to $trust+2)](if: $mental is >=0 and $mental is < 2)[(set: $trust to $trust+1)]
   “Pardon me, why would the troll care at all about your riddle?”
   “Ah, easy. I began to speak quickly, orating circles about the creature. I informed the troll that while it may be the troll of the bridge, I was riddlemaster of the land, and to be the troll of the bridge, he must complete my riddle!”
   “That can’t seriously have worked,” the bard replied with a perplexed expression.
   “Have you ever met a troll? They’re really, incredibly, amazingly dumb. So it believed me and asked what my riddle was. ‘With no wings, I fly, with no mouth, I howl. What am I?’ I asked the troll, and it sat upon the side of the bridge while it thought. And thought. And thought. For the entire afternoon, it sat and thought-”
   “How interesting. Also, wind,” the bard interjects.
   “Yes, yes, very good. And yet, the troll could not produce an answer! Admitting defeat, it allowed me to pass across the bridge towards my next task… Would you like to hear how I managed to pass across the most dangerous mountains in the world?”
[[Medusa]]   “It was early morning, the sun still a bright orange in the sky, dew still fresh on the grass. If you were quiet, you could even still hear some crickets. Ahead of me was a large mountain, and the main route through was blocked by none other than the Gorgon Medusa herself.
   “Many travellers had succumbed to her wicked gaze, as you could see the occasional statues lining the entrance to the cave in which she sat. While I had my own reasons for travelling the road, I had been told by the villagers of a nearby town that the path was obstructed. Many merchants from their own town had attempted to travel through the cave, only to be slain by the demon.”
   The bard eyes you with a look of curiosity mixed with doubt. “You’re saying you encountered Medusa. The snake demon who turns grown men into stone. What a harrowing story this must be.”
   You shake your head, silencing the song-weaver. “Of course you don’t believe me. You haven’t even heard what I did to deal with the Gorgon!”
   The bard spoke again, rolling their eyes. “Ah, yes. Of course. Please, regale me with your adventure.”
   “The mountain ahead was incredibly treacherous. The cliffs were as sharp as the legendary Excaliburn, and the summit was taller than the fire demon, Surtor. It had been said that terrible demons lived amongst the cliffs.
   “The cave in which the Gorgon layed was ancient, and full of death. Statues of her victims lined its corridors, and supposedly, no one who entered ever left.”
[["I appeased her!"]]
[["I donned a blindfold and ran in swinging!"]]
[["I braved the sheer cliffs and climbed around!"]](set: $mental to $mental+2)(set: $honor to $honor+1)(if: $mental is >= 5) [(set: $trust to $trust+2)](if: $mental is >=3 and $mental is < 5)[(set: $trust to $trust+1)]
   “As one could imagine, dealing with the infamous Gorgon isn’t exactly the most appealing idea. She could turn fully grown heros to stone with a simple look! That isn’t something to be taken lightly. So, I deliberated with myself quite a bit on what to do about her. Ultimately, I decided that I would try and appease her into letting me through the cave.”
   The bard gives you an odd look, which you ignore. “I gathered supplies before making my way through the entrance of the cave. It was dark, cramped. Not exactly a place you’d want to call home. The air was oppressive and dank, and it smelled like death.
   “Eventually I arrived in the cave’s main chamber, lit dimly by torchlight, and where I caught my first sight of Medusa, the snakes in her hair slithering mindlessly through the air around her. Slowly, I crept through the dim shadows, hiding behind a large rock, before finally, calling out.
   “‘Medusa! I have come to make a deal with you!’ I called out, doing my best to hide my location with the echo of the cave.
   “‘Intruder! I do not make deals with those who seek my demise!’ She rasped back.
   “‘I do not seek your demise, mighty Gorgon. I simply seek passage through this cave. To this end, I have brought gifts, that I hope may be enough to allow my passage!’ I placed the basket of food I had gathered, and slid it out from the rock in her direction. There was a pause, before she spoke out again.
   “‘You… Are you not afraid, Mortal?’
   “‘I am not afraid, Medusa. I have no quarrel with you. I simply need to travel through this cave.’
   “Another short pause, followed by the shuffling of footsteps, and the shadow of the Gorgon getting ever larger, before finally, her visage stood in front of me, eyes shut tight, yet her gaze still meeting mine. Another pause. ‘Thank you… Hero. You may pass.’
   “I left without another word, leaving the supplies I’d had in the cave.”
   The bard stares at you blankly for a moment. “What?” You ask.
   “You befriended the legendary Gorgon? No slaying? No valiant battles of yore?” They inquired, dumbfounded.
   You cross your arms. “Yes, I did. She’s actually quite sweet. I still bring her supplies now and again.”
   (if: $physical is >=2)["Well, it doesn't much seem your style compared to your other antics, that's all," the bard adds with a wrinkled nose. "And what happened after?"](if: $mental is >=4)["Well, that does seem rather... fitting, at least on how you dealt with the troll, at least... Very well, what happens next?"]
[[I came across another Hero!]](set: $physical to $physical+1)(if: $physical is >= 4) [(set: $trust to $trust+1)]
   “If I wanted to get through, I would have to deal with the Gorgon in one way or another. There was no avoiding it.” You state plainly. “So I quickly came up with a plan to defeat her.”
   The Bard yawns. “Let me guess. You tucked your tail and ran?”
   You shake your head. “Of course not! I would never run from a challenge. I got hold of a blindfold, and tied it around my head. She could not kill me if I did not meet her gaze, after all.”
   There is a pause.
   A long pause.
   “You went in to kill Gorgon.”
   “Yes.”
   “Blindfolded.”
   “Yes.”
   Another pause.
   The Bard sighs. “You’re either lying or the dumbest hero I’ve ever met. And I’ve met hundreds of heroes.”
   “Are you denying the genius of my plan?” You prod.
   They recoil back, aghast in horror. “Me? I would never!”
   You narrow your eyes. “Well, the plan worked. It was a hard-fought battle, but using nothing but my sense of hearing, I was able to find Medusa and slice off her head!”
   The Bard scribbles something down, then rolls their eyes before gesturing you to move on.
   “With the Gorgon dead, I removed my blindfold and safely traveled through the cave to the other side of the mountain. My trial was done, and it was on to the next one.” You finish.
   “Ah yes, of course.” The Bard nods their head, idly. They go to tune their lute a little more. “What a masterfully completed task indeed. No doubt you’ll go down in all the history books. The Hero that slew Medusa while blind as a bat.”
   You nod. “I’d show you the head since I took it as a trophy, but I don’t have it on me. And that seems like a poor idea regardless.”
   “Ah, of course. What a shame the only supposed proof of your trial conveniently isn’t here. (if: $physical is >= 3)[I suppose you did manage to wrestle a Troll too, so it isn't too amazingly far fetched. Just regularly far fetched.](if: $mental is >=2)[You didn't even slay the troll, how do you expect anybody to think you fell Medusa?! I... Uhg...] Anyway, continue on with your next trial.”
[[I came across another Hero!]] (set: $physical to $physical+2)(if: $physical is >= 4) [(set: $trust to $trust+2)](if: $physical is >=3 and $physical is < 4)[(set: $trust to $trust+1)]
   “I reasoned that it would be foolish to deal with the Gorgon head on, and risk my perfect form being turned to stone. Instead, I resolved to climb the mountain above! It would be a perilous task, but if any Hero could do it, I could.
   “I leapt from rock outcropping to rock outcropping, grabbing hold of loose stones, and seizing my path ahead of me. Before long, I could see the entire landscape unfold around me, as my journey to the summit continued. It was a magnificent sight, the green hills and rocky mountains, and crystal blue waters of the sea in the distance.
   “Once I reached the summit, I could feel it, the cold nip of the air and the gentle breeze of the ocean spurring me onward, as though the Gods themselves wanted me to press forward. I began my descent in full, almost missing the wondrous view from the top of the mountain. It was wonderful to take it all in.
   “Before long, I had reached the other side of the cave, and Medusa and her dangers were behind me.”
   The bard wrote a few notes, and then put their writing utensil down. “So, you didn’t even actually fight the Gorgon? What a boring hero you are. Most would relish to fight such a foe.”
   You nod your head, affirming the bards words. “Aye, that would be the case. However, to confront a foe like Medusa without proper planning is dangerous at best. You must prepare for a task like that. I was simply travelling from one place to another. So, avoiding her was the only real option ahead of me.”
   The bard ponders for a moment, as if considering your words. “I suppose that’s a fair point. (if: $physical is >=4)[And climbing those cliffs has been known as a rather... taxing route for the meek. Well, continue your tale, I suppose.](if: $mental is >=2)[Although I don't think climbing those cliffs makes very much sense for somebody who tends to use their wit... Perhaps I was wrong about you before? Oh well, continue your tale.]"
[[I came across another Hero!]]    “Oh, I remember this next encounter well…” you muse, giving a bit of dramatic pause. “Yes, it was on that cold morning, under a bleak grey sky, that I met the most unlikely of foes…” You pause again and the bard raises an eyebrow.
   “How about you leave the dramatic emphasis to me and get on with it?” they suggest. The bard tunes their lute, making minute adjustments and then strumming the instrument, as if never quite happy with how it sounds.
   “Ah, but this new foe was quite unlike any I had faced before!” you say, “It was to my surprise that from the dense, dark forest emerged, not a fearsome monster, but rather an adventurer, a hero, much like yours truly!”
   “So, a person?” the bard sighs. “Well, it’s not Medusa, but we can work with it. So what happened?”
   “Well,” you say, “what happened was that I immediately took notice of this other hero’s weapon, for it was a blade that gleamed in the light of dawn, sharper even than my own sword, and on top of that, I knew from the arcane glyphs etched into the blade that it must hold some kind of incredible magic power! It was then that I made up my mind that the hero’s weapon would be mine!”
   “Basically, you met another hero and instantly decided you wanted their sword because it was better than yours.” the bard says, looking at you.
   “Well… yeah, you could put it like that.” you say, shoulders slumping. “I mean, my sword was crap! It was all rusted on the edges and the leather grip was worn and uncomfortable. A hero is only as good as their sword, you know.”
   “Some would say a hero could succeed even without any sword at all,” the bard says, turning idly back to his lute, “but what do I know? I’ve only met about a thousand of them.”
   “Uhh, promise you won’t put that part about my crappy sword into the song?” you ask.
   “Sure.” the bard says. “Keep going. How’d you get this sword?”
   You puff out your chest, a smile playing across your face. The bard rolls their eyes.
   “Well, here’s what happened…” you begin.
[["I offered a friendly wager!"]]
[["I beguiled him for his sword!"]]
[["I hastily drew my sword!"]]
[["I persauded him of my dire quest!"]](set: $physical to $physical+2)(set: $honor to $honor+1)(if: $physical is >= 7) [(set: $trust to $trust+2)](if: $physical is >=4 and $physical is < 7)[(set: $trust to $trust+1)]
   “I appealed to this hero’s sense of honor and challenged them to a friendly competition!” you say, flexing your arm. The bard seems unimpressed.
   “You challenged them to a duel?” the song-writer asks. “Wouldn’t it be rather foolish to fight someone who clearly has a better weapon?”
   “Well, I challenged them to an arm wrestle.” you say. “No swords involved. It was a fair fight.”
   “Hmm…” the bard muses. “There’s at least honor in that, I suppose. It’s not an epic clash, but I can use that. (if: $physical is >=7)[And you've kept up a rather... mighty persona so far, what with the troll and gorgon, so besting another hero sounds about right.](if: $physical is >= 4 and $physical is <7)[You have done some other taxing challenges, I'm sure an arm wrestle isn't out of the question...](if: $physical is >=0 and $physical is < 4)[But... I'm not sure beating another hero so easily is entirely on brand...] So, what happened next on your daring quest?”
   “It was then that [[I found myself in the Isle of the Elves]]."(set: $mental to $mental+1)(if: $mental is >= 6) [(set: $trust to $trust+1)]
   “After recognizing their weapon as one superior to my own, I assumed that the hero wielding it was likely themselves inferior, as is so often the case for lesser adventurers. I quickly assessed that this was indeed the case. The so-called “hero’s” garb was rather unfit for battle, you see, and I knew from their obvious swagger that they--”
   “They were compensating, is what you’re saying.” the bard cuts you off. “I know the type.”
   “So I thought to myself, ‘Oh, that’s just what we need, another of those young, upstart farm boy types. Goodness knows we have enough of those.’” You could swear you see the hint of a smile curl at the edge of the bard’s mouth, just for a moment. “Naturally, I took advantage of the braggart’s naivete, and told them that there was a monster nearby which could turn flesh to stone with a single glance.”
   The bard looks up.
   “You sent them to Medusa?” the song-writer asks.
   “In a manner of speaking.” you say, smirking slyly. “I graciously provided a strip of cloth to use as a blindfold. It’s possible, however, I may have -ahem- forgotten to mention that the area around Medusa’s cave was treacherously steep, not really the type of place one wants to wander into blind.”
   “Ah.” the bard says. “So you blindfolded them and let them walk off a cliff.”
   “‘Let them?’” you gasp dramatically, feigning offense, “My friend, I would never simply let another hero plummet to their doom! When I saw them teeter at the edge of the precipice, I grabbed for them, attempting to save them from certain death, but alas, all I managed to grab was the hilt of their sword. The weapon may or may not have come free from their belt as they fell and the unlucky hero dropped to their demise.”
   “Of course.” the bard says.
   “Well, I thought it only fair to carry on the memory of this fine hero by taking up their blade as my own!” you continue. “I fight now in their honor, remembering this fallen adventurer each time I draw my blade!”
   “I see. Very honorable of you. (if: $mental is >=6)[But you have shown words and trickery to be your strong suit," the bard says before sighing and beginning to scribble the quill across paper. "And what did you find next, one of words?"](if: $mental is >= 4 and $mental is <6)[And I'm very sure the sword served you well,” the bard says, though there’s an evident tone of distaste and sarcasm to the words. There’s no telling whether or not the song-writer actually believes your tale, but they continue, “And what did you find next, great hero?”](if: $mental is >=0 and $mental is < 4)[Truly though, I'm not even sure why the hero would believe such a foolish tale. Really, I don't even believe you," the bard says, shaking his head distainfully. It seems something you said might have gone too far. "Let's just move on, what did you do next?"]
   You don’t much care for the bard’s disdainful tone, but you continue with your story…
   "[[I found myself in the Isle of the Elves]]..."(set: $physical to $physical+2)(if: $physical is >= 7) [(set: $trust to $trust+1)]
   “Well, I challenged this supposed hero to a duel, of course!” you say. The bard looks at you skeptically.
   “You challenged them to a duel?” they say, pausing in their idle fidgeting with their lute. “Didn’t you say they had a better sword?”
   “Yes, but I beat them anyway.” you say, smiling a smile you hope is convincing.
   “... How, exactly?” the bard asks.
   “I don’t remember!” you sigh. “You’re the writer here! Make something up!”
   “You didn’t actually win this duel, did you?” the bard asks. You frown.
   “Of course I did!” you shout. “Why, I’ve half a mind to duel you myself!”
   The bard gives a heavy sigh, as if they’ve heard this threat a thousand times before.
   “Very well... (if: $physical is >=7)[You have supposedly bested a troll and performed other great feats..." the bard says, plucking at their lute. "I'll make a note of this epic duel between two great heroes."
   The bard begins to begrudingly put quill to paper, leaving you with a satisfied smile.](if: $physical is >= 4 and $physical is <7)[“ the bard says, plucking at their lute. “I’ll make a note of this epic duel between two great heroes.”
   You can’t actually tell if their quill hits the paper, but you don’t have the patience to argue. You sigh and continue with your story.](if: $physical is >=0 and $physical is < 4)[ Although I'm not even sure you could beat such a hero, or me for that matter... Well, go on, continue the story." The bard said dejectedly.]
   “It was then that [[I found myself in the Isle of the Elves]] ..."(set: $mental to $mental+2)(set: $honor to $honor+1)(if: $mental is >= 7) [(set: $trust to $trust+2)](if: $mental is >=5 and $mental is < 7)[(set: $trust to $trust+1)]
   “Well, I consider myself a clever sort of hero,” you say, “but I didn’t want to be known as the dishonorable sort, so I tried to talk them into trading the sword for mine. I told them that this blade had been in my family for generations and that it handled better than they might think. I made a convincing enough argument that the wanderer was persuaded to hand over their weapon.”
   The bard gives a sidelong glance toward the sword at your hilt, then scribbles something down on their piece of parchment. You wonder briefly what exactly is written there.
   “(if: $mental is >=7)[Words do seem to be your strong suit, and your quest is dire enough.](if: $mental is >= 4 and $mental is <6)[Parting a hero from his sword is rather difficult... Hm...](if: $mental is >=0 and $mental is < 4)[I'm not sure I'd even believe your pleading, you seem rather more brutish.] Well, let’s move on. What happened next on your journey?”
   “It was then that [[I found myself in the Isle of the Elves]] ...”   “An Island of Elves?” The bard asks, a hint of curiosity in their voice. “I’ve heard tell of such places, but I had always brushed them off as flights of fancy.” They close their eyes, as if remembering a song, but open them again after a brief moment. “What were you doing on this island? I’ve heard Elves can be quite the mischievous creatures.”
   You take a sip of ale, before regaleing the Bard with your latest tale. “It was a small but prosperous island, full of beauty and wonder. Truly one of the wonders of the world. The whole island is in a state of permanent autumn, with the leaves stained the brilliant orange of sunset.”
   The Bard yawns. “So you were there to sightsee? Lovely. What was your epic quest here? Were you collecting leaves?”
   You shush the Bard quickly. “Don’t be silly. I was shipwrecked. A great storm had hit me while I was sailing, and I washed up on shore with naught but splinters and fabric from the sails. I had to escape, in order to finally come to my destination. The Elves of the island seemed nice, but none would simply give me passage. As it turns out, they don’t really like strangers washing up on their shore and demanding a boat.”
   A slight smirk breaks over the Bard’s face. “Ah, of course. You had something that needed to be done after all. No time to dawdle on trivialities like the natural beauty of the world, or the majesty of magic. So, how did you escape?”
   “Well, I spoke to some Elves while I was there, to try and discern my options. After some deliberation with the locals I learned that no one ever sails to or from the island. It is completely isolated from the outside world, with only rare exceptions. So, I only had a few options.”
[[I kidnapped the Prince as ransom!]]
[[I swam the entire ocean back!]]
[[I promised them a favor in the future for freedom.]]
[[I seduced the monarch.]](set: $physical to $physical+1)(if: $physical is >= 6) [(set: $trust to $trust+2)](if: $physical is >=3 and $physical is <6)[(set: $trust to $trust+1)]
   “Eventually I learned that the King of the island had a son, the heir and Prince.”
   “A Prince?” A quizzical expression crossed the Bard’s face. “Did you persuade him to give you a way out.”
   You pause. “In… a manner of speaking. I made him an offer he couldn’t refuse.”
   The Bard ponders for a moment. “Well, I certainly didn’t expect this turn. A one night of passion with the Prince? Utterly scandalous-”
   You quickly cut them off. “Not a night of passion, no. I took the young Prince hostage. With the Prince in my care, the King had no choice but to give me a boat to sail out of there.”
   Your companion’s smile breaks for a moment, before they compose themself once more. “I see, I see. Not exactly a heroic act, but you did what you had to do I suppose. How did you manage to capture the Prince?”
   “I had to wait for the opportune moment. I waited for him to leave the palace with only a few guards, around noon the second day I was there. After a short brawl, I had incapacitatd his guards and captured him, holding him as my prisoner until the King accepted my conditions.”
   After a quick scribble on a notepad, the Bard gestures for you to continue.
   “I escaped not long after that, sailing across the seven seas to my freedom.”
   The Bard places their notebook down, and plays with the tuning on their lute. “Certainly an unexpected story… But definitely impressive.” The Bard laughs to themself. “The Prince of an island of Elves, captured and held for ransom by a single hero. Truly, the most heroic of heroes you are. (if: $physical is >=6)[Kidding aside, I have no doubt you're strong enough to accomplish such a task!](if: $physical is >= 3 and $physical is <6)[With your strength, I'm sure others could believe this tale.](if: $physical is >=0 and $physical is < 3)[Pardon me for asking, but are you sure that you're even strong enough to kidnap a prince? It doesn't seem to be your style at all!]”
   You roll your eyes, then continue on. “Now then, are you ready for my final story?”
(if: $quest is 1)[[It's finally time to seal the Sky God Theus in a pot!]]
(if: $quest is 2)[[It's finally time to rescue my Brother from the Underworld]](set: $physical to $physical+2)(if: $physical is >= 9) [(set: $trust to $trust+2)](if: $physical is >=7 and $physical is < 9)[(set: $trust to $trust+1)]
   “I couldn’t risk trying to negotiate with the Elves, and get trapped forever. I knew I had to get to the shore on my own. So, I did the only natural thing.”
   The Bard taps their writing utensil on the table, as if pondering how to write that. “So you stole a boat and sailed back to the mainland? Certainly not the first time a Hero has had to turn to unsavory means to accomplish their goals.”
   “No no,” You clarify, “Nothing as terrible as that. I simply had to swim back.”
   The Bard almost drops their notebook. “You- You swam back to shore.”
   “Yes.”
   “... Alright then. Sure. You swam back.”
   You roll your eyes. “It wasn’t easy, I’ll grant you, but I am the peak of human physicality. It was a trial, but I overcame it.”
   “(if: $physical is >=9)[Well, with the other feats of might you've claimed, swimming the entire ocean wouldn't be so surprising... Tell me, how did you manage this?](if: $physical is >= 7 and $physical is <9)[Uh huh. And tell me how the peak of human physicality managed this.](if: $physical is >=0 and $physical is < 7)[You hardly look to be the peak, more like... a gentle sloping valley... Full of similarly weak rabbits, or deer. Well, how did you manage to... swim the entire ocean?]”
   “After a short time conversing with the Elves of the island, I quickly realized they would be no help to me if I were to get back to the mainland. I spent the night getting a map and figuring out the fastest route away, and escaped in the morning. It took me a whole two days, but in the end I managed to arrive safely back on the mainland.”
   The Bard quickly scribbles something down. “Two days? Most would buckle under that sort of exertion. Certainly it would've been easier to steal a boat.”
   You shake your head. “Perhaps, but it would’ve been cruel to the Elves who needed that boat.”
   “Ah, of course. Truly the most sensible action. Why didn’t I see it before.”
   You shrug, and then continue on. “Now then, are you ready for my final story?”
(if: $quest is 1)[[It's finally time to seal the Sky God Theus in a pot!]]
(if: $quest is 2)[[It's finally time to rescue my Brother from the Underworld]](set: $mental to $mental+2)(set: $honor to $honor+1)(if: $mental is >= 7) [(set: $trust to $trust+2)](if: $mental is >=5 and $mental is < 7)[(set: $trust to $trust+1)]
   “I didn’t have much time to try anything bizzare and fancy. I had to use my wits to get myself out of there, and so I thought ‘What do Heroes do the most?’ So, I went to the King and made him a deal.”
   The Bard sighs. “Are you about to tell me you seduced the King? How original. A Hero seducing someone already in a relationship. Did you at least-”
   You cut the Bard of quickly. “Nothing so base as that! I promised the King that in exchange for delivering me from the island, I would come aid him in the islands time of need. The King accepted that deal, and told me he would send a raven as a messenger in said time of need.”
   The Bard quickly scribbles that down. “Ah, that would make more sense. So, an offer of a future quest. And what was this quest you eventually had to undergo?” They asked, a hint of curiosity ringing in their sing-songy voice.
   You shake your head. “Nothing as of now. I have yet to be called for aid. The island was isolated, as I said, and true danger is uncommon there. It may be quite some time before I ever have to return. If I even do.” You take a sip of ale. “If I do return, it would likely be to slay some monster terrorizing the island, or perhaps a band of marauders may take up residence and need to be driven out. The seas can be quite treacherous.”
   “(if: $mental is >=7)[Well, I'm sure your promises will keep them well at ease for decades. I do hope you follow up on it.](if: $mental is >= 5 and $mental is <7)[Indeed. So, you came to an island full of confusion and left the island full of empty promises. What a valiant story.](if: $mental is >=0 and $mental is < 5)[Well, if they believe you as much as I do, I'm sure that plan worked just fine.]”
   You roll your eyes, then continue on. “Now then, are you ready for my final story?”
(if: $quest is 1)[[It's finally time to seal the Sky God Theus in a pot!]]
(if: $quest is 2)[[It's finally time to rescue my Brother from the Underworld]](set: $mental to $mental+2)(if: $mental is >= 9) [(set: $trust to $trust+2)](if: $mental is >=7 and $mental is < 9)[(set: $trust to $trust+1)]
   “After spending a short time on the island, I thought to myself, ‘What is my strongest suit?’”
   The bard tunes their lute slightly. “Flights of fantasy?” They quip.
   You shake your head. “No, no, of course not. It's my wits! Time and time again I have escaped many dangers with naught but clever thinking.”
   The Bard raises an eyebrow, but says nothing.
   “So, I did the only sensible thing. I made my way to the King, ensuring he was alone, and used my indomitable charm on him, so that he would take me to his bedchamber.”
   The Bard nearly spits out their drink. “You seduced the King? Really? That was your master plan. How original of you. Not as though every Hero on the face of the Earth hasn’t already done that.”
   “Silence yourself, for you haven’t even heard the end of the tale. After entering the bedchamber, I convinced the King that I couldn’t stay- it was quite the sob story. After beguiling him with tales of my trials and my goal, he allowed me to leave, though not before shedding a single tear.”
   “A single tear.” The Bard writes something down on their notebook, though it looks too short to be your story, you can’t tell for sure. “Did you seduce anyone else, or is one man enough for your heroic lust?”
   “Just the King. The next day, I was on a ship, sailing from the island and into my destiny.”
   “Destiny. Of course.”
   You roll your eyes, then continue on. “Now then, are you ready for my final story?”
(if: $quest is 1)[[It's finally time to seal the Sky God Theus in a pot!]]
(if: $quest is 2)[[It's finally time to rescue my Brother from the Underworld]]   “Final challenge? So you went to go seal Theus in a pot?” The Bard asks, adjusting in their seat. "I suppose that is rather fitting for a final task, how did you manage?"
   "Well first," you say, leaning back in your chair, "I needed to go to the Oracle of Apodin."
   The bard cocked a brow. "What for?"
[[I went to the Oracle of Apodin to search for the Pot of Mahphuba]]   “Final challenge? So you went to get your brother then?” The Bard asks, adjusting in their seat. “How did he get down there anyway?”
   “Well,” You start, “To make a long story short, my brother is stupid, and angered the wrong deity. You see, as Queen of the Underworld, Hehel has a large arrangement of precious gems at her disposal. My brother borrowed some from her, and never paid her back.
   The Bard sighs. “So Hehel took your brother’s soul? Truly, only the greatest of families you have. But I digress. How did you even get to the Underworld?”
   “Well…” You start.
[[I went and found another Hero that journeyed into the Underworld.]]   “Well, I decided I couldn’t just cram Theus into any old pot! No, this had to be a specific pot! A special pot! A pot unlike any—“
   “Get on with it.” the bard sighs.
   “Indeed, the pot for which I searched was none other than the legendary Pot of Maphuba!”
   “Never heard of it.” the bard says flatly.
   “Well, it’s a very good pot.” you say. You clear your throat and continue. “I knew of course there was one person I could count on to help me find this pot, one person above any other who—“ The bard groans and you decide to cut the theatrics. “I went to the Oracle of Apodin.”
   “Oracle of Apodin. Great.” the bard says, writing this down. “What next?”
[[I offered to retrieve her lost pet goat.]]
[[I gambled on a game of chance, which I knew I'd win.]](set: $physical to $physical+2)(if: $physical is >= 9) [(set: $trust to $trust+2)](if: $physical is >=7 and $physical is < 9)[(set: $trust to $trust+1)]   “Being the kinder sort of hero, I decided I would do the Oracle a favor and retrieve the goat they had once lost. They were grateful enough to show me where the pot could be found.”
   “Ah.” the bard says. “Fair enough. Lost goat. So where was this pot of… what was it?”
   “The Pot of Maphuba.” you say.
   “Right, right.” the bard says. “Where did you find it?”
[[I travelled to the Mountain of Surphestus.]](set: $mental to $mental+1)(if: $mental is >= 7) [(set: $trust to $trust+2)]   “I decided to test my mental acuity and challenge the Oracle to a game of chance!”
   “Gambling against someone who can see the future?” the bard scoffs. “How did you pull that off?”
   “Well, you see,” you say triumphantly, “I simply chose a game that was complex enough that there would be an innumerable number of outcomes, various different results based on the things one did along the way, such that even one as wise as the Oracle would become muddled by so many possible futures, while I, a practiced mathematician, was able to calculate precisely the one true outcome!”
   “I see…” the bard said. “I could probably do something with that. So where was this pot?”
[[I travelled to the Mountain of Surphestus.]]   “I travelled then, following the Oracle’s instructions, to the mighty volcanic Mountain of Surphestus! Such a challenge may have daunted others, but not I!”
   “Yes, yes, you’re very brave.” the bard sighs. “Keep going.”
   “Upon climbing the mountain and entering its molten depths, I saw that there was a small island in the middle of the lava!”
   “Lava island…” the bard says. “Okay…”
   “Yes, and not only that, but there was an intriguing sort of chain nearby, one which refused to melt away at the touch of the liquid fire that roiled in the mountain’s depths!”
   “Ah, so a magic chain then.” the bard says.
   “What’s more, I was shocked to see that there was already another hero inside the mountain as well, no doubt striving for greatness just as I was!”
   “This should be interesting…” the bard muses, writing. “What next?”
[[I used the magic chain to heave the island towards me.]]
[[I offered the chance for another fledgling hero to gain glory!]](set: $physical to $physical+2)(if: $physical is >= 13) [(set: $trust to $trust+2)](if: $physical is >=9 and $physical is < 13)[(set: $trust to $trust+1)]   “Well, then I grabbed the chain, figuring it must be attached to the island, and simply heaved it toward me with all my might!”
   “You just pulled the island?” the bard asks. “Hmm… yes, I suppose that might be strange enough to work. Perhaps…”
   “After that,” you continue, “it was no challenge at all to simply grab the pot and take my leave!”
   “But what of the other hero you mentioned?” the bard asks.
   “Ah, well, it turns out they were there on an entirely separate quest of their own.” you explain. “They were trying to get rid of some powerful artifact of some kind by throwing it into the lava. I don’t really remember, I wasn’t paying much attention.”
   “Fine.” the bard says. “What then?”
[[I went to trap Theus in the Pot!]](set: $mental to $mental+2)(set: $honor to $honor-1)(if: $mental is >= 7) [(set: $trust to $trust+2)]   “Thinking quickly, I offered the other hero a chance to claim even greater glory and offered to let them try and retrieve the pot for me. Before they had a chance to disagree, I urged them that it was the honorable thing to do, to help another hero on their quest. As it turns out, they happened to have a set of nearly indestructible armor, which was resistant to even the fires of the mighty mountain! They were able to fetch the pot for me and I rewarded them gratefully with a generous pat on the head before taking my leave!”
   “Alright then.” the bard sighs. “And next?”
[[I went to trap Theus in the Pot!]]   "I climbed my way up Mount Valpus, leaping my way up impossible cliffs until I came across the the home of the gods. From there, I snuck my way through without being spotted until I found the Theus' chambers," you told the bard before they interjected.
   "And now for your final deed. Tell me, how did you manage to confine the god of the skies themselves?"
[[I wrestled him into the Pot.]]
[[I switched it out with his chamber pot.]](set: $physical to $physical+2)(set: $honor to $honor+2)(if: $physical is >= 15) [(set: $trust to $trust+3)](if: $physical is >=13 and $physical is < 15)[(set: $trust to $trust+2)](if: $physical is >11 and $physical is < 13)[(set: $trust to $trust+1)]   “I decided to rely on my greatest weapon, my own strength, for it had never yet failed me before, and simply wrestled the great and mighty Theus right into the pot! My foe was indeed powerful, but in the end, I overcame him and managed to fit the once-powerful god into the Pot of Maphuba!”
[[The Epilogue]](set: $mental to $mental+2)(if: $mental is >= 11) [(set: $trust to $trust+3)](if: $mental is >=7 and $mental is < 11)[(set: $trust to $trust+2)]   “Thinking quickly, I did what only the most clever of adventurers would do—and switched the mighty Theus’ chamber pot for the Pot of Maphuba!”
   “His chamber pot?” the bard asks, seeming astonished. “I wasn’t aware gods needed chamber pots…”
   “Nor was I, honestly,” you laugh, “but it worked! The pot’s magic pulled him straight inside the moment he reached for it, and the mighty Theus was no more!”
[[The Epilogue.]]   “And that, my friend, is the end of my great tale!” you declare triumphantly. “The mighty Theus shoved into a pot by yours truly!”
   “Really…?” the bard muses, tapping their quill against the parchment. The writer’s eyes flick back and forth over the page, reviewing their notes on your grand tale and murmuring things like “troll bridge…” or “Medusa…”, then making some more notes here and there. You really can’t tell what they’re thinking…
(if: $trust >= 12)[   “Why, yes, I think that will just about work!” the bard laughs. “Yes, yes, that’ll do very nicely, very nicely indeed! The mighty Theus shoved into a pot! I like it! I’ll write you a song for the ages, great hero! It will be sung for the next thousand years!”
   And indeed it is. For ages, people tell of the mighty hero who was strong and brave enough to wrestle the great Theus himself into a pot!](if: $trust is < 12 and $honor is <5)[   “Hmm…” the bard murmurs. “No, I just don’t think… I don’t see it. I mean, I’d buy that you could shove a god into a pot if you were a little more… you know… epic! But as is, I just don’t see the material for a good ballad.”
   “Don’t see what??” you ask. “But it all really happened, I swear!”
   “No… Sorry, I just don’t think it’s believable.” the song-writer sighs. “I can’t make half this stuff rhyme, anyway…”
   You leave the tavern in a foul mood, knowing no one will ever sing your song.](if: $trust is < 12 and $honor is >=5)[   "I... will write your tale," the bard exhales. As your face becomes jubilant, the bard quickly interjects, "Although I personally don't believe a word of it. However... You could have told me that you were the strongest hero, or the smartest, but instead you always tried to do what was honorable. For that, I'll write your tale so that you may inspire another generation, even if you happen to be a facade."
   You nod slowly, face falling as you stand. Inspiring the younger heroes doesn't seem so bad, especially if you're inspiring them to be honorable and good?]   “And that, my friend, is the end of my great tale!” you declare triumphantly. “The mighty Theus tricked into a pot by yours truly!”
   “Really…?” the bard muses, tapping their quill against the parchment. The writer’s eyes flick back and forth over the page, reviewing their notes on your grand tale and murmuring things like “troll bridge…” or “Medusa…”, then making some more notes here and there. You really can’t tell what they’re thinking…
(if: $trust is >= 12)[   “Ah, yes!” the bard says suddenly. “That should about do it! Haha, a tale of trickery and cunning! The mighty Theus trapped in a chamber pot! Very well, I will write your story, my clever friend!”
   “Excellent!” you say, shaking the bard’s hand, ignoring the ink stains.
   “Mark my words, no one will dare to even think of outsmarting you when they hear your song!”
   No sooner has your song been written than other heroes are flocking to you, asking for tips on how to become half as smart as you. Bards come from all across the realm to learn of your journey, and no one ever tries to trick you, for fear of being tricked themselves. For years after your death, you are known as a clever and cunning hero, sly enough to trick the great Theus into a pot!](if: $trust is < 12)[   “Hrrmmm… No, I don’t know if… See, I just don’t think that would work…” the bard sighs.
   “Something wrong?” you ask, interrupting the bard’s scribbling.
   “It’s just… I don’t think this will work.” they say. “It’s your story. It’s just not… believable.”
   You frown.
   “What do you mean ‘Not believable?!’’ you spit. “I gave you every detail, exactly as it happened!”
   “Yes, but it just doesn’t make sense.” the bard says. They give a frustrated sigh and wad up the parchment. “Take your silly stories and get out of here, stop wasting my time.”
   You leave the tavern empty-handed, save for the incoherent notes of a bard on a crumpled up piece of parchment.]   “The Underworld can be notoriously hard to find. Few know of its precise location, and even fewer have ventured into its depths. In order to save my brother, I would have to find one of these people, but luckily, I knew exactly who to ask. In a village near where I was staying lived the Hero Orph, who once journeyed down into Hehel’s domain himself.”
   The Bard raises an eyebrow. “You’ve met Orph as well? Interesting. I’m composing a song for them right now.”
   You cock your head. “Ah, interesting. But that’s enough about them. I met with Orph on a chilly winter morning, while he was out tending to his farm. After a brief introduction, I decided to be plain with him.”
   “That's the most unbelievable thing you’ve said all night.”
   You ignore the Bard’s sass. “I told Orph I needed to find the Underworld, but Orph refused to tell me its location. However, being the indomitable Hero I am, I would not be swayed from my path so easily.”
[[I persauded them into telling me where the entrance to the Underworld is.]]
[[I started punching downwards.]](set: $mental to $mental+2)(if: $mental is >= 13)[(set: $trust to $trust+2)](if: $mental is >=9 and $mental is < 13)[(set: $trust to $trust+1)]   “I told Orph I would not be swayed. ‘My brother is the world to me!’ I said, ‘I must save him, at any cost!’ It took quite a bit of convincing, but he came around at the end.”
   The Bard chokes back a look of surprise. “Orph is normally quite against people following in his footsteps. You must have given him quite the sob story.”
   You nod. “My silver tongue is an extraordinarily powerful tool. He gave me the exact location of the entrance he used. Before long, I was at the entrance, mere steps away from saving my brother.
   The Bard nods. “So, what did you do next?”
[[I made my way through the Labyrinth of Jyx.]](set: $physical to $physical+2)(if: $physical is >= 11) [(set: $trust to $trust+1)]   “Since Orph would not tell me the location of the Underworld’s entrance, I decided I would make my own.”
   The Bard cuts you off. “You what? What does that even mean?”
   You grin. “I punched a pathway from the countryside down into the Underworld.”
   They nearly spill their drink. “I’m sorry, I think I might’ve misheard you. Did you just say you punched a route through the earth into the Underworld?”
   “I did indeed.”
   “I was mistaken. This is the most unbelievable thing you’ve said all night. Possibly the most unbelievable thing I’ve ever heard.” They shake their head. “Er, nevermind that. What did you do next?”
[[I made my way through the Labyrinth of Jyx.]]   “Well you see, the main chamber has quite a large labyrinth, protected by an individual known only as the Guardian, and with treacherous and confusing terrain. Many heroes have tried to navigate its halls, and only few have survived, such as-”
   The Bard cuts you off. “I’m well aware who has successfully traversed Hehel’s domain in the past. You forget I’ve worked with Orph.” The Bard rolls their eyes.
   You pout. “Do not rush a good story. All of this is important to the tale.”
   The Bard shakes their head. “Just tell me how you got past the Labyrinth.”
   You sigh. “Fine.”
[[I slayed the Guardian to steal his map.]]
[[I made a map as I went along.]](set: $physical to $physical+2)(if: $physical is >= 11) [(set: $trust to $trust+1)]   “Being the mighty warrior I am, I thought ‘What better way to escape this labyrinth then to duel the Guardian for their map!’ I figured that it would be my best bet.” You start.
   The Bard nods. “Okay, so how did that go?”
   You rub your back sheepishly. “Well, the strength of a Hero is high indeed! It was a fine duel, and in the end I obtained the trophy! Alas, the Guardian themself is no longer around to protect the labyrinth. But using the map I won, I managed to find my way out and arrived at Hehel’s lair!”
   “You killed the Guardian?” The Bard asks.
   “I did, why?”
   The Bard sighs. “Oh nothing. Lets just hope nothing bad comes of this. What did you do once you’d finally arrived at the Goddess of the Underworld?”
[[I finally confronted Hehel.]](set: $mental to $mental+2)(if: $mental is >= 13) [(set: $trust to $trust+2)](if: $mental is >=9 and $mental is < 13)[(set: $trust to $trust+1)]   “The solution to escaping the labyrinth was deceptively simple. Do you know what the difference between a maze and a Labyrinth is?” You ask.
   The Bard shakes their head. “Not particularly. I wasn’t aware there was one.”
   You grin. “The difference, my melodic music maker, is that labyrinth’s have patterns. Mazes don’t.”
   The Bard raises an eyebrow, but says nothing.
   “So, I simply figured out the pattern, and once I had it realized, followed what I knew would lead me to the exit.”
   The Bard nods. “I see. So, assuming you’re actually witty enough to pull that off, what did you do when faced with the Goddess of the Underworld?”
[[I finally confronted Hehel.]]   “Finally, after many years of heroism, I was faced with my ultimate goal. The Goddess of the Underworld stood before me, her visage covered in black and grey. I demanded for her to set my brother free, but Hehel simply shook her head, not paying me much heed.”
   “How cruel of her.” The Bard deadpans.
   You ignore the bard. “I had to do something to convince her, but it wasn’t as though I had many options. There were two I could think of…”
[[Threaten to cave in the Underworld.]]
[[I filibustered against Hehel for an entire year.]](set: $physical to $physical+2)(if: $physical is >= 12) [(set: $trust to $trust+2)](if: $physical is >=7 and $physical is < 12)[(set: $trust to $trust+1)]   You pause. “If there is any asset of mine I have, it's my strength. And while I may not have performed this next feat, it’s something that I could have easily done if I had to.”
   The Bard narrows their eyes. “Your final trial was something you didn’t even do?”
   You shush the Bard. “You see, I may not have done it, but I did threaten to do so if I had to. You see, I thought the best course of action was to strong arm the Goddess. And so I threatened to cave in the Underworld if she didn’t hand over my brother.”
   The Bard stares at you blankly.
   “After the threat, the Goddess promptly handed me my brother, and we journeyed our way back to the surface.
[[The Epilogue...]](set: $mental to $mental+2)(set:$honor to $honor+2)(if: $mental is >= 15)[(set: $trust to $trust+3)](if: $mental is >=13 and $mental is < 15)[(set: $trust to $trust+2)](if: $mental is >10 and $mental is <13)[(set: $trust to $trust+1)]   “I pondered my options for a brief moment, but there was really only ever one option. I decided that I would distract Hehel from her duties for as long as necessary, preventing her from admitting the dead to the afterlife.”
   The Bard taps their utensil on the table impatiently. “And how long was that for?”
   “I spent a year in that darkness, speaking on and on, telling stories, jokes, singing songs, anything that would keep her from her job. Eventually, she relented, and agreed to let me and my Brother go.”
[[Epilogue...]]   “Once we had returned to our home, I officially retired as a hero, and now here I am, making this request of you.” You finally finish your tale, after a long night of story-weaving.
   The Bard finishes their notes, before finally looking up at you. “Well, that was quite the story, hero. Full of such twists and turns, that if I didn’t know better, I’d say they were all fake... (if: $trust is >= 12)[Honestly, I can’t believe I believe you, but I do. I’ll make your song, hero. You just better hope it does well, because if it doesn’t, there isn’t a feat you’ve done that could compare to what the common masses will start to think of you.”
   You grin a mighty grin. “Thank you, kind and melodious bard. You will not regret this!”
   You leave the bar that day with a triumphant grin. Your story, true or not, will live on forever.](if: $trust is < 12 and $honor is < 4)[Only I do know better. There’s no way Hehel would believe you could actually cave in the Underworld. Or anything else for that matter.”
   “But-”
   “No.”
   Dejected, you leave the bar, with your story, true or not, never being told.]
   “After that year in hell, I officially retired as a hero, and eventually came here, to speak with you.” You finally finish your epic tale.
   The Bard finishes their notes, before finally looking up at you. “Well, that was quite the story, hero. Full of such twists and turns, that if I didn’t know better, I’d say they were all fake. (if: $trust is >= 12)[Of course, I believe you that they weren’t. More importantly, I believe this will make me a pretty penny to sing. So sing I will. Lets just hope no one hates you after hearing my song.”
   You grin a mighty grin. “Thank you, kind and melodious bard. You will not regret this!”
   You leave the bar that day with a triumphant grin. Your story, true or not, will live on forever.](if: $trust is <12 and $honor is <5)[And of course, I do know better. There’s no way you could survive down there for a year. If you want to lie to me, at least make it a believable one.
   “I assure you, I spoke only the truth.”
   “‘I don’t care.”
   Dejected, you leave the bar, with your story, true or not, never being told.](if: $trust is <12 and $honor is >5)[But... Even if it is fake, the message isn't so bad, is it? I don't believe your tale, but I'll write it, since a story to inspire young heroes to do the right thing seems rather... impactful."
   You let a faint smile touch your face, nodding slowly in acceptance. If heroes are inspired to do honorable, good things, then who are you to argue with one bard that doesn't believe you.]